would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
