No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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