you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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