apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
