they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
