She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you never un-have a 4some
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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