Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
