she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
