U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
