Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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