omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
