That's intense
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
