Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is wine microwaveable?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
