Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
