careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
