You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
