If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
