There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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