dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
