Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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