Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
