We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
