tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
