You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
