I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
