I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can I color on your dick again?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
