I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
