Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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