Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
