C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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