Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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