I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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