so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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