Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
