the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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