i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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