i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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