You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
