i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
