Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
