it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
