We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
