just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
