conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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