Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
