woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
