mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
