Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He felt like a one man threesome
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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