Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
