I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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