all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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